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By J.D. Houvener
Patent Attorney and Founder

Hi, I’m Al Bubba Baker from Avon, Ohio, owner of the D-Bone Baby Back Rib Steaks. I’m seeking three hundred thousand dollars in exchange for 15% equity in my company, and this is my lovely daughter Brittany. She’s gonna make you sharks ribs in a microwave in two minutes. [Music]

Now, I played a little football in the NFL for 13 years; that was my job. Barbecue is my passion. Sadly, I married a woman that doesn’t like ribs because they’re too messy. So, I vowed to find a way for my wife to be able to enjoy ribs. But how do you make ribs less messy? You take the bones out. After 20 years, I found the perfect method, and the D-Bone Baby Back Rib Steaks were born. We are the only people that have removed the bones from an actual slab of red, leaving the meat intact so that everyone can enjoy ribs with a knife and fork. A D-Bone Baby Back Rib Steak is not pieces of meat formed in the shape of a rib, you know what I mean? You tell Bubba boneless meats are the way of the future, and the future is now. Make no bones about it, sharks, it’s time for some ribs.

All right, bless me with a Bubba Baby Back. Bubba, who’d you play for?

Well, I played for the Lions. I was a rookie of the year in 1978. I played for the then St. Louis Cardinals, and then I came back and I retired in Cleveland in 1990. That’s a long career, man. Great career.

This is absolutely delicious. Yeah, it’s very — this is really, really good. Thank you. Thank you. So basically, I just want to be really, really clear: I buy this; I throw it in the microwave for two minutes, and it tastes like this. You got it. [Music]

I am highly suspect of his claims for that patent. I’m not a patent attorney. I don’t think he’s got a trademark. We can talk about that later, though. And tell me about the patent. I did. I pulled it up. I was very suspect. I was blown away with how solid the patent is. Okay, really?

Yes, it is actually better than I thought. A process for preparing a length of deboned rib meat comprising cooking a length of rib meat having one rib bone at least partially embedded therein at a temperature and for a time sufficient to enable the removal of at least one said rib bone while maintaining a substantially intact length of rib meat and removing at least one of those ribs. That’s it. She really does have a patent on a process for cooking ribs and removing the rib. Incredible.

About the Author
J.D. Houvener is a Registered USPTO Patent Attorney who has a strong interest in helping entrepreneurs and businesses thrive. J.D. leverages his technical background in engineering and experience in the aerospace industry to provide businesses with a unique perspective on their patent needs. He works with clients who are serious about investing in their intellectual assets and provides counsel on how to capitalize their patents in the market. If you have any questions regarding this article or patents in general, consider contacting J.D. at